I’m Kelsey Krebs - Owner & Lead Planner at Est. With Love Wedding Planning! I am a planner by nature, I enjoyed planning every minute of my own wedding and would LOVE to help you!
If your significant other just popped the question, congrats! This is such an exciting time in your life and you should enjoy your engagement! I know the first thing you want to do is buy that cute, little, proposal box and ask your besties to stand by your side. Why wait right? I think there are things to consider before rushing to ask your bridal party to be a part of your big day. But for now, share the news with friends & family, and enjoy spending time with your Fiancé! If you are dying to start wedding planning, pick your wedding colors, theme and start researching wedding venues.
First off, let’s talk about how you’re more than likely planning to get married within the next 12- 18 months. A lot can happen in that amount of time. Friendships evolve, friends move or your friend has a baby and your relationship with them completely changes. Then your wedding events start approaching and you haven’t even talked to them in months. The relationship becomes awkward and you’re texting them about your bridal shower, bachelorette party, and wedding day details and things don’t feel the same. I’ve been a Bridesmaid or MOH 12 times and I see it all the time with my Brides and their bridal party. There’s just something about a wedding that can really change the relationship you have with someone for better or worse. Asking too early, they may be planning to move out of state, change jobs or planning to get pregnant. It’s hard for them to be excited with it being so far out and not knowing what will happen. Obviously, you don’t want to wait 30-60 days prior to ask them to be a part of your wedding. Then they’re unable to get their wedding attire. I think the “right time” to ask would be once you have a signed contract and a set date with a venue.
Another thing to consider is the financial obligation. Being in a wedding is expensive and adds up quickly! Wedding day attire, hair & make-up, bridal shower, bachelorette party, hotel, and if you have to fly to the wedding destination. The Bride should try to figure out the costs of hair & make-up, a ballpark cost of the dress they would like the bridesmaids to wear, and have an idea of a bachelorette party destination. This will give your bridesmaids all the information up front so they understand what they’re committing to and know the financial obligations. Everyone is in a different financial situation. Just because a friend can’t attend your bachelorette party doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to be there, it might just be too much for her at that time in her life. I’ve seen friendships end and brides kick bridesmaids out of weddings for not attending certain wedding events. Yes, this season in your life is so amazing and your friends are happy for you, but they also have lives outside of your wedding and you need to be understanding of that. I think waiting to ask your bridal party and trying to have an idea of the costs upfront for them will save you and them the headache. Hopefully, this will avoid any awkward conversations and any falling outs as well.
May 3, 2022